I went to another funeral today. I only seem to write after funerals. It’s like the only thing worth writing about these days for me, life or death. Everything else seems shallow; I don’t do shallow well anymore. Unfortunately, most things in life are shallow. Jobs are shallow, false community is shallow and even existence in our culture is shallow.
Everyone is afraid of the deep.
Deep is when I am at my best!
The only thing deep lately in my life is death. Death forces you to experience life.
Our society is so messed up. This really isn’t how we are supposed to live.
At the funeral today, a very young pastor who really got to know Jennifer during her illness preached her eulogy. He talked about her smile. He was a witness. He got to experience her last days over a years time. The love in his voice was genuine for my friend. He truly loved and knew Jennifer. It was heart warming.
I have to be honest I was jealous. I would have loved to held her hand, or sung to her like he did. I was at work. He was living. I was busy dying. To experience this love death had to be involved. I hate that about this thing we call life. None of us really live until it is too late.
Today I am writing; today I feel alive. When I got in my truck the first song on the radio was from the group Pearl Jam. The chorus, “I’m still alive” is ringing in my head as I write. My soul aches for those who lost their friend, a mother and a wife, and Jennifer was all of these things, but today she makes me feel alive. Her soul is present!
I love you Jennifer Robinson and always will.
Rest in peace, Mike
Please pray for her family, they will need it.
It’s great to hear and experience words from your Heart brother. Reminds me of our conversation yesterday. Oh, and by the way, I love deep waters but most are afraid to go there. It’s s lot of pain in those deep, deep waters but they sure are cleansing. Love you brother. Ralph
It really does cut deep to lose someone so dear who touched so many lives. Jennifer lived her life on her terms & she left this life with dignity & grace. Thank you Mike. Your words give me a sense of peace.
Well said, friend! As the pastor said, Jennifer was not concerned with the things going on outside, around her. She kept a smile and found peace in God. We all need to step outside our “busy” daily lives and remember to truly live!
Beautifully said…death seems to be so common these days. It puts things in perspective. My heart hurts for this family and many others that are hurting after losing a loved one.