When I was younger the safest place on the planet for me was my car. It gave me a sense of freedom everyone longs for in their high school years, but it gave me personally much more. It was my refuge.
My house wasn’t the safest place for me. The relationship between me and my father wasn’t easy, chaotic at best, is how I would describe it. I realize now that many of the demons I face today were passed on from his father to him and then to me. The day I turned fifteen I got my license and I was gone. I don’t mean physically gone, but emotionally and spiritually.
One of my loves during this time frame was Rock and Roll music. Just this past week, I heard a song that took me back into that time-frame (high-school) in my life. The song is entitled “Here in my Car” by Gary Numan, so I looked it up on Youtube, and I decided to copy the lyrics and show you what hit me deep in my heart:
Here in my car
I feel safest of all
I can lock all my doors
It’s the only way to live
Here in my car
I can only receive
I can only receive!!! I had always wondered why my car was such a fortress, a place of great comfort and relief, it was because it was the only place on the planet I was getting what I needed. I didn’t have to listen to anyone’s expectations of me, no name calling and no feelings of failure because of others judgment. I was safe. It was safe. In my car I could do things that made me happy: listen to music, pursue the love a woman and live in a sense of peace if only for the time I was in my car.
Here in my car-I can only receive. You have to receive before your heart can give.
Where was your safe place?