Are you Free?
I use this question, “Are you Free?” quite often in my counseling office. It has been an effective tool in my tool belt for over fifteen years in the ministry and counseling world, but about two months ago I decided to turn the question back towards myself after losing my job. It was tough to do. I realized what I had been preaching for so many years I was not living. If the truth were known I was not free.
Just writing this blog tears at my soul, because I know I had allowed the very things that have crippled me in the past to creep back into my life. The first one was my weight. I lost over 60 lbs before I accepted the job as the COO of the software company I recently worked at. I have gained 30 lbs back and it has severely limited me in my search for a new job. The second one is debt. I hate debt. I have taught Dave Ramsey classes in the past and have been debt free except my mortgage twice in my life, but it is easy to rack up debt when you are making a lot of money. It is easy to pay back minimums when you are doing well, but when the lever drops and the noose tightens (losing my job) stress and self-hatred can quickly impose their will on your body, spirit and mind. I have felt crushed by the weight.
The last and most important thing for me has been my loss of desire to write. I love to write, but honestly I haven’t felt God’s presence lately, and my eyes have felt like they have been scaled over. Inspiration has been fleeting as I try to put my life back together.
Today I chose to move forward and write.
Freedom is my theme.
Am I Free? At this point, no, but I am fighting again!
Thanks for all of the love you guys have shown me and the encouraging words to continue to write.
I love you guys!!