Sit with that question just a minute; did you immediately dismiss it as not being important? I am sure some of my more materialistic readers might have said a boat or a car, but I think it boils down to one thing, most of us desire to be loved. So how do we solve the problem of not feeling worthy of love itself. Imagination and dreaming are two of the best elixirs in learning how to love you. Without them self-pity and codependency reign in your life. We must have dreams. Attaching yourself to someone else’s dreams only deepen the roots of unhappiness and unworthiness. We have to dig deeper into the question, “what do you want?”
Music is a huge part of my life and one of the things that helps open my mind to dreaming and desires. One day while listening to the song Watch Over You by Alterbridge, a haunting lyric caught me off guard. The lyric goes like this, “How can you love someone, and not yourself?” You can’t!
So what are the answers to these questions for you?
What do you want from your spouse?
What do you want from your children? Your family?
What do you want from your career?
What is the meaning of your life?
What do you want from God?
Quit asking everyone what they need from you. This may sound selfish, but I promise if you are running on an empty tank and only loving others from a heart of obligation than you are not really loving them at all.
To truly begin to receive from life you must take the time to wrestle with these questions. You see love is an action, and the best action you can do to show yourself love is to act on your dreams and desires. There will be times that are tough, and you will hit roadblocks and failures, but they are just a part of the process of loving yourself. If you can love yourself through failure you can love yourself through anything.
So, what do you want?