The human experience sometimes can be heartless. Everyone can remember the pain of being rejected by that first girlfriend, or the death of a close friend. When our emotional world is torn down to our fiber we understand a lot more about how we really feel about love. Most of us have allowed callouses to grow over our hearts, and they become hard towards others we are suppose to love. Some people become like the Tin Man, completely without a heart.
Those of us who have opened our hearts to experience life realize that love has ebbs and flows. Ups and downs if you will. Your life seems to become more painful when things are bad, and more exhilarating when things are going well. To others it can look almost bi-polar, the ability to express such deep emotions on a daily basis, both good and bad. But it is freeing to be able to allow your emotions and your thoughts to be in a parallel dimension with each other. People with open hearts love more deeply, kiss longer and enjoy the minute details of life.
People with hearts embrace pain and suffering and learn to express it. They don’t allow it too set in and become their identity. One of my favorite movies is Finding Forrester. In the moves Sean Connery plays a man who has allowed the pains of life to define him. His fears keep him from even leaving his home. This is someone who has allowed the pain and suffering to take away his life. People with open hearts can’t live this way.
I started writing blogs about seven years ago because I wanted for people to understand how to see God in every day life. As I have matured with my thoughts and emotions, I have realized I was writing more about my love for people. I realized I have a natural curiosity for watching the goodness in the world. I love exploring the unexplored recesses of the mind that people miss because of the ridiculous pace we live out.
I have called these experiences God.
I have called them love.
God is love? Love is God?
Is this right?
Are my experiences a filter that I have created to see the good in everyone?
Is it real? Perception? Is love real? Is God real?
Am I the only one who has these questions?
There is one thing in my life that is true, when I take the time to wrestle with myself and write my emotions, thoughts and experiences I find truth. I become focused. Writing an online journal started off being extremely scary for me, exposing my deepest thoughts, addictions and desires for everyone to see; wondering what others would think of me.
Some days writing is healing, other days it is painful, but it is always true because it forces me to sit with the person I should love most in this world-myself. It forces me deeper into this being I call me. Writing helps me to peel back the external influences and test what I truly believe. Most people have no idea what they really believe. Most people cave to the pressures of society, others become convicted about an idea or cause, while others believe because it is what they have been taught. Are any of these reasons right or wrong?
I don’t know, but I don’t think so. Truth has to be experienced. Open your eyes!